National Geographic Special : The Lost Species of Exhibitions

I am on booth duty again, for the 2nd largest IT company in the world. The solution I am promoting is for the enterprise market, hence we are unlikely to find any prospect customers here. In other words my company sacrifice my time to appease our co-exhibition partners. To stop myself from slitting my own throat out of boredom I devised a game, “Name that Species” (normally played after being bored with “spot the babe”). The object of the game is to classify as many people as possible. Here is some of the group of people you would always find in any exhibition:

Souvenir hunter: Hunters of the 21 Century. They attend exhibitions with the sole purpose to collect as many free souvenirs as possible. The experience hunters will usually zero-in on companies who are renowned for premium items. Normally hunting in packs, the souvenir hunter will collectively work together to wipe out any exhibition booths that are foolish enough to announce that free gifts are available. These elite hunters are normally young executives, engineers, aging secretaries, or low ranking officers, who have very little interest in the expo itself. Hunters who are born without any shame are absorbed in a pariah caste known as the “Berserker Souvenir Hunter”. These hunters do not limit themselves to expo booths only. They are normally found in seminar talks where the gifts are few but deem to be of a higher value. Normally faced with a daunting task of answering a few questions, the Berserker Souvenir Hunter are completely at home when gifts are offered on a first come first serve basis. Entering into a berserker rage they are able to run to the stage at blinding speeds fending of would be hunters with their elbows and shirt pulling techniques. Armed with a paper bag and a very sharp senses, these hunters prey on the weak and inexperience exhibitors shouting their favorite battle cry “Got free gift ah?”.

Techie Junkie : These guys are holders of useless information. They approach exhibitors on the pretense of wanting to know more about the product or solution exhibited. Once the bait has been taken, the Techie Junkie will then overwhelm the inexperience exhibitor by flooding him with jargon and useless technical specifications he most likely gathered from past exhibitions brochures or the internet. When challenged, the Techie Junkie will resort to one of their offensive techniques known as “Ask a Stupid queStion?” or ASS for short. ASS technique have many variation ranging from ASS on irrelevant matrices to ASS on irrelevant jargons. The budding Techie Junkie wannabe know as the Techie Junkie Neubie, approach exhibition booths with the intent of knowing as much as possible about a product. Often leeching on to the exhibitors, the Techie Junkie Nubie will ask as many questions there is to ask, from the features of the product to the colour of the product inventors pajamas. The dream of every Techie Junkie Nubie is to one day stun an exhibitor with such an insightful statement that will force the exhibitor to resign from his job and become a monk.

Supersalesman : Sales people through and through, they go to exhibitions not to increase their understanding on the products but to sell their own products. Their key targets are normally the exhibitors, cause they know that the exhibitors are train to be nice to the customers. They call it networking. I call it annoying.

Card Collector: There is a new breed of species cropping up at the exhibition hall recently. They are people who go around exhibition booths collecting business cards. Normally a very pretty girl, who will scout for business cards left on tables and booths. They will then take one without even stopping to talk to you. They don’t ask any questions. They don’t take any brochures. They just take your business cards. For the over-“perasan” exhibitor like me, I assume that they think I am cute and they want to get to know me better. So I patiently wait for an anonymous phone call stating how good I look holding the Transmogifier Model 314-txxz. Reality hits me when I get back to work and find hundreds of spam filling up my office e-mail.

Brochure Poacher: These are the least evolved of all the species found in an exhibition. Very similar to the Souvenir Hunter, except they hunt for brochures. All kinds of brochure. These are the most common among all the species. I admit I am a brochure Poacher myself. I go to exhibition collecting brochure with the intention to read it when I get back. But I never read them. One day during some spring cleaning session they will eventually find their way into the dustbin.

As you can see, there is an entire ecosystem waiting to be explored in every exhibition. Explorers like ourselves dedicate our lives discovering new and evolving species in their natural habitat. If you would like to make a donation to support our activities please do not hesitate to contact me at my e-mail address. With that, I wish all would be explorers “Got free gift ah?"

Everybody dies, but not everyone actually lives.

What do you say to somebody who just lost somebody special in their life? Just recently, my friends father past away. I am not very close to her but felt that I had to convey my condolences to her family. The conversation went something like this

Me: Hi! Just would like to convey my condolences.

Friend : Thanks.

Me: How are you doing? (doh! Of course she is not alright. What a stupid thing to say)

Friend: I am ok. It was all kind of sudden. I suppose it was better that way. He didn’t have to suffer.

Me: Aah…Umm…Well I guess, you would have another guardian angel looking over you. (doh! What the hell are trying to do? Write a script for a B grade movie?)

Friend: Yeah! I suppose.

Me: Ahh…I guess we will keep in contact then. Goodbye!

I hate making calls like that. I always feel that there is this expectation for me to say something wise and insightful that will make everything better. So I fail every time because no matter what you say, you can never make it better. You can however make it worst. Not very good odds. So what is it that we are suppose to say?

Another thing, also very recently, the friend of my girlfriend father past away. My girlfriend became very sad because she knew that man was the world to her friend. Me being the Mr.Try-to-fix-everything, tried to cheer her up. The conversation went something like this:

Me: Yang, You should not be sad. You should be happy?

My Yang: Why? (Gave me the stare)

Me: There will be enough people at the funeral who will be sad. And they have no choice but you do. It is easier for you to be happy. So bring a little joy to their life in their bleakest hours.

My Yang: Boot! (She kicks my butt)

Me : Hey! Why did you do that for??

My Yang: Hee! Hee! That makes me happy. You want me to be happy right?? Boot!!

Story of my life, try to say something helpful, always end up with a sore bottom. But I guess I am right, we should be happy. Not to the point you where you laugh maniacally at the funeral but enough to bring smiles and hope to those who need it. You see when I die, it would be nice to see somebody cry, but it would be nicer to see people laughing and smiling remembering all the good times we had together. Then I know that I had touch your life in a good way. So if you do not want a smiling and laughing mourner in your funeral, be sure to put it in your will not to invite me.

Put Mahathir in charge of Iraq

Here is an interesting article I read today. (For those people who knows me: Yep, I don't alway play games and watch tv. I do read occasionally). Not bad idea. Its worth a try. The web site url is: http://www.atimes.com/atimes/Middle_East/FF03Ak01.html

Put Mahathir in charge of Iraq
By Todd Crowell

SEATTLE - In a speech last month at Westminster College in Fulton, Missouri, a place made famous more than 50 years ago when Winston Churchill delivered his famous "Iron Curtain" speech, the presumptive nominee of the Democratic Party outlined what he would do in Iraq if he were president of the United States now. John Kerry repeated his recommendation to get the international community more involved.

But Kerry also said he wanted to appoint a high commissioner for Iraq, some internationally respected figure who could work with the US, with the Iraqi interim government and with the world community to pave the way for elections, the drafting of a new Iraqi constitution and reconstruction. Is there anyone better qualified to fill such a post, if such a post were ever created, than Malaysia's former prime minister, Mahathir Mohamad?

If the goal is to create a stable, prosperous and democratic Iraq, who better to do that than the former leader of the most prosperous and democratic Muslim country in the world today? Mahathir served 22 years (1981-2003) as Malaysia's fourth and most successful prime minister. During those years he transformed a nation dependent on rubber and palm oil into a regional high-tech, manufacturing and financial powerhouse. Malaysia's economy often grew at 10 percent a year and living standards rose 20-fold.

Moreover, Mahathir successfully governed a country divided, like Iraq, on racial, ethnic and religious lines. Where Iraq comprises Arabs, Kurds and Turkomens, Malaysia is made up of Malays, Chinese and Indians, not to mention other minorities in East Malaysia. He has fostered affirmative programs that have created a sizable and stable indigenous middle class, essential for democracy, without alienating the minority races.

The Malaysian political model offers lessons for building democracy in Iraq. The principal vehicle is a broad, big-tent coalition of racially denominated parties grouped together under the umbrella of the Barisan National Front. All races in the country thus have a stake in the government. That this is a winning combination was demonstrated once again in the general election held this year. Mahathir's successor and protege, Prime Minister Abdullah Badawi, scored a smashing victory for progressive Islam, and easily rolled back the more fundamentalist parties.

Where the Islamic fundamentalists have been willing to play by the rules of electoral politics, they have been allowed to advance their ambitions for creating an Islamic state, either by winning seats in the national parliament or, more important, capturing the governments of several Muslim majority states such as Kelantan. (In the last election they lost Terengganu.) In those states they are able to apply, not impose, Sharia laws on a public that generally supported them through free elections.

At the same time Mahathir has no qualms and has never hesitated to crack down heavily on violent Islamists. Less than two years ago he detained 70 militants believed connected with the bombings in Bali, Indonesia, under the country's Internal Security Act, which allows for indefinite detention for national-security reasons. His actions bring forth some grudging appreciation from the Americans, who otherwise tend to shun him. He is hardly shy about using state power to suppress opponents.

It is unfortunately true that Mahathir is known in the West, if he is known at all, for his remarks at the meeting of the Organization of Islamic Conference (OIC) in Kuala Lumpur, where he suggested that the Jews controlled the world. That and similar remarks he's made from time to time cause many to write him off as an anti-Semite. Whether or not he is viscerally anti-Semitic (not to mention anti-British, anti-Australian and probably anti-American) is a question. The important thing is that his steadfast support of the Palestinians over the years would stand him in good stead with most Iraqis, if not the neo-conservatives in Washington.

Putting Mahathir in charge would pave the way for greater participation in Iraq's postwar life by the OIC states. It is unconscionable that the OIC has played absolutely no role in the reconstruction of Iraq. US leaders prattle on about trying to "internationalize" the situation, they talk about bringing in the North Atlantic Treaty Organization or begging the French or Germans to send troops, yet ignore the world's largest organization of Islamic states, which stands on the sidelines impotently sniping and complaining. It would also be the key to having any Muslim nations send peacekeepers to Iraq.

If the real US goal is, as many believe, really to create in the middle of the Middle East an Israel-recognizing, US-military-base-welcoming and pliant oil-producing client state, or if the goal is to turn Iraq into a model for conservative free-market and "Russian-shock-style", foreign-investor-dominated economic policies, then Mahathir would be obviously wasting his time.

Mahathir firmly believes in what is often called the Asian model of guided economic development and its application in other countries, such as Iraq. What better model for the development of Iraq's oil industry for Iraq's people than Malaysia's state-owned Petronas, often described as the best-managed oil company in Asia, if not the world? His policies have been fairly criticized for fostering cronyism and inefficiencies and lack of competitiveness, but this has to set in the context of a country that is economically flat on its back. And in any case, corruption and cronyism have been an inevitable side-effect of Mahathir's long rule. Presumably, the 78-year-old Malaysian's tenure in Iraq would be relatively brief.

Mahathir offers the opportunity for an effective transition from US occupation to a genuinely sovereign Iraq, one that presided over by a genuinely neutral but widely respected and deeply experienced Muslim manager who would be nobody's puppet, certainly no foreigner's puppet. The irony is that Iraq may in fact become more truly sovereign under the temporary stewardship of a foreign Muslim leader than it would under almost any interim native leader anyone can imagine being named after the June 30 transition.

Presenting "Our World" for the first time in Technicolor.

I was watching the show So Close, where you get 3 beautiful women prancing around in shorts beating the crap out of guys, and it got me thinking (Surprising eh? Considering that the flow of blood would have been channelled to a different part of the body). You see, 2 of the girls were assassins. But they were the good kind of assassin, the type that only kills bad people like drug lords and mafia heads. My question would be, is it OK to kill for money, if the people you kill are bad?

If there was a guy who devoted his life to protecting people and he became a bodyguard. But the person who hired him is a drug lord or a serial rapist, is he good or bad? What if he was hired to protect their family? Does the situation change? And if you have an assassin who enjoys killing but only drug lords and a bodyguard who believes all life is precious inclusive of his boss who is a drug lord, who would you kill?

You see the world we live in is not black and white. We live in Technicolor. There are no clear lines or well define boundaries. Sometimes I get a bit bothered when people give advise based on ideals that may not be right for the situation. Advice like “Always be yourself” or “don’t try to please everyone” or “stand up for your rights”. On its own it seems like good advice but sometimes in reality it does not work out. You may be doing more damage then necessary. It is easy to ask people to “do what is right”, but I reality nobody knows what is right. If life was that simple then everybody will be successful. Imagine a life where it is as certain as a math equation.

Send a girl flowers + be nice = fall in love + marriage
Give up social life + study hard + good grades = Scholarship in a well known university.
Work hard in office + stay back late = Promotion + Raise + Big bonus
Sell Best product in the market + very competitive pricing = Big Government Tender.

So early in life we learn that life is not fair but sometimes in our arrogance we tend to ignore the reality and see the world as it should be. Not as it is. In my opinion, the only way we can survive is to always question and adapt. Reading the situation without prejudice and adapting our principles to suite the circumstances.

This is not easy as we have a perception on how the world should be, through countless of POL classes, fairytales and movies. In the real world, both the woodcutter and little red riding hood would be eaten by the wolf, sleeping beauty would have slapped prince charming for being fresh and Shrek and the princess would have chosen to be beautiful instead of remaining as ogres.

We all heard the question about the kids playing on the train track. If not, here it goes:
You were walking one evening and notice 5 kids playing on the train track and 1 kid playing all alone on an abandoned train track. All of the sudden you see a train hurling down the train track at break neck speeds. None of them notices. They are too engrossed to hear your desperate scream. You realize right in front of you is a switch that will steer the train towards the abandon track. What do you do? Do you save the 5 kids and sacrifice the one kid that actually did the right thing? Or do you let 5 kids suffer for their folly? What is the right thing to do? Sometime in this world it is necessary to sacrifice a selected few for the stupidity of the masses.

Here is another example (note this can be quiet offensive, so skip the next 2 paragraph if you are easily disturbed).

If I asked you to imagine a guy raping somebody you care about, eg. Your girlfriend, your wife, your mother, your daughter. You can feel the anger and the hatred growing inside of you. God only knows what methods of punishment you are concocting in your head for the rapist. Sodomising the guy with a broomstick would not be a far fetch idea.

Now If asked you to imagine a young lady e.g. Nasha Aziz sodomizing your dad. And as punishment you wanted her raped. Now I am sure sodomising a guy with a broomstick is much worse then raping a girl? However, I had no reservation about putting the broomstick part but I was apprehensive to using rape as punishment. In fact, I could not imagine Nasha Aziz being despicably evil and deserved no mercy, because in my head it is not logical. That would never happen. However hard I tried I could not feel angry. Is it because we think we figured out how the world works and when something challenges our believes we cannot relate to it?

So in conclusion, everyday I challenge myself to see things in a different light. Everything I do or expected to do, I ask myself why do it that way? It can be tiring sometimes but heck it makes life much more interesting, living in Technicolor.

Hi my name is Prideless and I am a Credit Addict.

I never thought it would be a problem. I thought I could handle it. I started using it in small amounts. Little by little the addiction grew. The lure of bonus point was too great. I used it in any opportunity I could. I started using it for big purchases to be cleared in two months. Soon it would be 2 big purchases or 3 big purchases in a month. It became uncontrollable. I started using it when I couldn't afford to.

I realize it became a problem when using it is no longer an option. It became a necessity. It soon became too big to handle. Growing upon itself. I fought hard and I manage to beat it using financial acrobatics and cashflow contortions. However, like a cancer it grew again and again. Draining what ever I work hard for. And now I am going for another rescue package. Pretty soon I will run out of ways to save myself. Like a street hobo clutching a bottle, you will find me in Mid Valley clutching a max out credit card going from one store to another hoping to be accepted.

To my simple minded brain in its most primitive thought process, a credit card allows me to get almost anything I want just by signing a piece of paper. That is all it registers. It cannot correlate it with the credit card bill that comes at the end of the month. Payment of a credit card bill then becomes like your income tax deduction. You pay for something that you don’t directly see any benefits.

Of course I realize how a credit card works but at the most primitive subliminal thought process which is conveyed through feelings,

I sign a piece of paper= bill later=I get stuff=happy feeling.
Sign paper=get stuff=happy feeling.
Sign Paper = Happy Feeling.

Soon my stupid brain will start making the conclusion that the more paper I sign the happier I become. I think that is how I get into trouble, my stupid brain making stupid conclusions.

A Credit Addict or Credict is much like an alcoholic. So I don’t see why we can’t have a support groups to help us kick the habit. Here are some similarities:

Alcoholic: People with different level of tolerance
Credict : People with different level of income

Alcoholic : Liver cancer that grows and grows until it kills you
Credict : Debt that grows and grows until “Ah Long” comes and kills you.

Alcoholic: Alcohol is legally sold by bars and restaurants to anyone above 21.
Credict: Credit is legally given by financial institutions to anyone above 21.

Alcoholic: “Don’t worry I have it under control”
Credict: “Don’t worry I have it under control”

This blog is written to show people with stupid conclusion making brains like mine that they are not alone. Credictism can be beaten. We should all come together and go down to Singapore for the Grand Sale and be happy.......Hey! That doesn't sound right. Stupid brain taking control....must resist....Help...Me....

I am so lucky. I am as happy as a pauper.

I have always wondered what it would feel like being rich and/or famous. Would I be happier then I am today? Or maybe I would be miserable, not being able to enjoy the simpler things in life. Dare I say, maybe, being rich is no better nor worse then being poor?

You see today, I am a happy person. I have all that I need and can afford some things that I don’t need but want. I am at the point in life where I earn enough to pay my monthly bills, have some savings and also have time to do the things I want. I have a car, a house, a handphone, a home Theatre System, a 21” TV, a PS2, a PC with broadband access and I get to go on holiday every quarter. Sure, my car is not an Audi A4RS, my house is not in Bangsar, my handphone is not the very latest, my TV is not a plasma , I don’t have 1GB of bandwidth and I cannot afford to travel overseas every month but as I said, I am a happy man. I don’t dine at the finest diners but that does not mean I do not dine on the finest food. Heck, some of the places I dine at, are areas not fit to consume food but the food is gooood.

Do I pity those who do not earn as much as me? Who cannot afford the things I do or the places I eat? No I don’t. As I do not expect pity from those who earn much more then me. In life there is always a balance. To earn more money I have to give up more time and expose my self to more stress. Currently, I am happy where I am.

So I have come to a conclusion that the amount you earn has no direct relevance to the joy you derive. The trick is to appreciate a standard of living that is appropriate with your income. I am just as happy eating at Kentucky as a rich person is happy eating at Cilantro. So think of income, not as different levels but more like different paths, whereby each path has its own type or activities of happiness. With this, I realize I can be as happy as anyone in the world, millionaire or not. In the immortal words of Sheryl Crow, happiness “is not about getting what you want but wanting what you have got”.

Help I am a defenseless middle age married man..

I have somehow entered the adult world of adultery. Gone are the days when we use to talk about who is going out with whom. Now days it is, who is going out with who’s husband? I personally got to know of at least three husbands cheating on their wives. Hell that is a lot because of the limited friends I have. It got me thinking if the ratio of men cheating on their wives is high, what about men cheating on their girlfriends? What is the ratio here, 1:100, 1:10 or 1:1?

When I say cheating I mean having sex. You could still have a romantic dinner with a woman and say “Oh Honey! We are just friends? But when you have sex, that is smoking gun evidence. Try and use the old “It’s just physical, she doesn’t mean anything to me” and I can guarantee your nuts will be parted with one swift kicking action.

Why do men cheat? Is it in the genes? After all we are genetically program to spread our seeds, so to speak. To ensure survival of our genes. Heck, mother nature intended for us to cheat, how do we fight that is of instinct. I am not justifying it but sometimes men are unfairly blamed.

For the sake of my relationship, I would like to begin by stating that “Adultery is wrong!!”, Please don’t try this at home. Now, I would like to know, why is it that most of the time the guy is always to blame? It takes two to tango. If you have a vixen seducing a married men, what chance does he have? Everything he was born to do points to saying Yes! Why aren’t the mistresses blamed with the same amount of animosity as the fucking lying cheating husband? And why do girls do it, that is, go out with married men? Are married men easy prey compared to the single men? Don’t they empathize with the wife or the family? Do they always live in the illusion that all will be fine when they get married? Is that what they are after, to get married or they are just out to have a good time? The girls are as much to blame as the guys. When they stop seducing or even going out with married men and then we won't have that many cheating husbands.

These girls have created a hostile environment for husbands. Predators lurking, looking for middle aged defenseless married men. Stroking their egos, among other things, luring and victimizing them with the false believe of their supposed sexual attractiveness. Makes me almost afraid to get married, to be exposed to these vixens (or maybe an incentive...hmmm).So before you condemn another fucking cheating good for nothing husband, spare some shots for the opportunistic, thoughtless bitch of a mistress.

Football Fans 101- the game of life.

For all you people out there whom do not understand what is the big deal about football, this is the blogg entry is ideal for you. You see I to did not see the joy of football until recently when I decided to be a football fan. I picked Liverpool, because of their history and because they weren’t the team everybody picks like Manchester United. They are reasonably good, which is very important. Because your mood for the day can sometimes be affected by how well your football team does. And that’s the fun of it. When you take a side and support a team, you feel for the team. The excitement of watching your team play in a live telecast match is increased exponentially. So how do you become a excited about football?

Step 1, pick a team. I suggest Liverpool because I support it.
Step 2, Read about them. Go to the following web sites for Liverpool
- www.4thegame.com
- www.liverpoolfc.tv
Step 3, Every match preferably during the live telecast. If possible with other football fans. Not necessary friends who support the same team.
Step 4, Have discussion with friends who support the same team or arguments with friends from whom support different teams.
Step 5, Play football management games. See if you can manage the team better. I would suggest LMA 2004 for the PC/PS2. Note only play the games when you are familiar with the players of the team you support. It makes it fun.
Step 5, Play football or futsal, so you can appreciate the skills of the football player.

If you follow this diligently (for what reasons god only knows), you will be able to carry a decent conversation/argument with a football fanatic. Here are some Liverpool player facts that will get you started. Maybe as homework, you should go to the websites to put a face to the name (Assumption that you know a little about football).

Michael Owen – Star striker (Position: the player who is in charge of scoring goals) for Liverpool and also the England team. Short bugger, but has tremendous pace to give any defenders (Position: The player in charge of stopping any one from scoring a goal) nightmares.

Emile Heskey – A bloody gorilla. Also a striker. Should have been better as he has the built, the speed and the agility. But sadly did not perform well so he was sold to another team, Birmingham.

Steven Gerrard – A one man team. Liverpool captain. Plays as a Midfielder (Position : Plays in the middle of the field. Responsible for providing the strikers the ball for them to score. Sometime helps out in defending also)This does everything, attack and defends.

Didi Hamann – A German defensive midfielder. He has the ability to break up play from midfield. Provide much stability to the Liverpool team.

Sami Hypia – Finnish Defender. A tall bloke who is strong in the air and able to read the game very well. Some times who goes up the field to score goals with his head.

Jerzey Dudek – Polish Goalkeeper. Very good at stopping shots. But sometime susceptible to concentration lapse that results in conceding silly goals.

That is all for now. The description above are peppered with Football lingo. If you follow the 5 steps, you will be able talk the talk very soon. Hope to have some bloggers engage in some football bantering with me real soon.